Hello! This is my first blog post and it’s going to be awkward because I’m trying not to spoil gameplay you haven’t heard yet. Apologies in advance because we’re leaving the well researched and clearly phrased type of posts that Caelson excels at and entering emotion land! You’ve been warned.
I started RPG gaming officially in 2017 while pregnant with my daughter, who you frequently hear screaming in the background of some episodes. At that time I was an emotional mess due to hormones and my own personal blend of crazy. However since giving birth and processing some things and medicating the crazy I am still a very emotional gamer. I don’t know if it’s because I had a very solitary childhood spent playing pretend in the woods around my house, or due to my love for transportive books that I can fall into and escape my mundane reality. Whatever it is, it makes me feel maybe a little too invested. But I can’t stop.
During our last session I constantly referred to Pete and Badger as “my boys.” I’m constantly referring to Sabine as “bae.” Even Dumbass Donnie gets a little sympathy in my eyes. I can’t help but feel like these characters which all sound eerily like Caelson are real parts of my life.
However an alternative struggle is that I am putting far too much of myself in Zabella. My own cautious anxiety colors a lot of my moves. I’m going to be working on some character building exercises that I’ll post here. A bit of creative process in fleshing out the character and making her feel a little less like the cute half elf version of my self. We’ll see how that goes and hopefully as we continue in game play from this point she’ll start to feel as real as the characters she’s grown to call family.
For those looking for insight and advice in creating a character I plan on putting my own attempts here and also posting things I find from other gamers I admire. There’s going to be a bit of a return to my theatrical roots. Remembering of training I’ve taken and forgotten and hopefully finally putting that Bachelor of Arts degree to good use.
Stay tuned my good nerds.
-FP
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